


We Have Us

by imjaebumism



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: 1x10, Canon Compliant, M/M, Missing scenes to fill in the blanks, Spoilers, fix-it sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 18:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8907280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imjaebumism/pseuds/imjaebumism
Summary: "Philip?" Lukas says and he doesn't continue until after Philip hums in response, eyes still closed. "Does your stomach hurt?"
Or: Missing scenes from the finale in an attempt to wrap things up a bit more? Fill in some blanks?





	

 

What's probably the worst part is that- Philip doesn't feel anything until he's got a chance to sit down and not do anything, not think for a while, turn his brain off. It's not until he feels like he could breathe again, properly, without the rattling in his chest or the wheeze in his nose that he finally gets it. And it hits him hard.

His mom was dead.

The only person who knew who was, all of it, the only person for a long time that he had to stay strong for and fight for and care for and love, she was gone and it just hit him and he couldn't be a more awful son.

He wasn't even there. Wasn't there to hold her, tell her how much he loved her one last time that- despite everything- she was the best mom that she could be. That he knew she loved him too even though she couldn't show it at times- when she was too high or passed out on the couch, unable to get up and pack a lunch bag for Philip to take to school.

He'd make his own lopsided peanut butter and jellies using a fork from the sink because he couldn't reach the knives, paired with bruised bananas and repackaged water bottles. He'd kiss his mother's unresponsive form on his way out to catch the bus that picked him up on the corner of the street, tiny fingers against her neck to catch the faint but ever present reminder that her heart was still beating. He grew up too fast, and sometimes he would wish that his mother wasn't an addict, but he never hated her- never thought less of her.

He was going to miss her.

Tears spring to his eyes unbidden as he stares down at the linoleum tiles under his feet, dull and saturated in color and completely numbing. He watches as a tear falls from down his cheeks to one of the tiles by his foot, followed by another one and then another until his shoulders are shaking with the force of his sobs, hand coming up to his mouth to minimize the broken sounds he's making.

He wants to hold her in his arms one more time. She was small, always so easily enveloped in his arms, and the rancid smell of cigarettes always clung to her skin, her clothes, her hair but Philip found the utmost comfort in her arms and now he'd never feel that again, the warmth of his mother against him, and that was the hardest pill to swallow.

Someone sits next to him in the connected chairs in rows against one wall of the hospital hallway and he guesses its Helen though he doesn't look up to confirm his assumption. He's figured that he's run away from all the psychopathic murderers trying to kill him so he has nothing to be afraid of anymore.

Helen deftly places a hand on Philip's shoulder, her touch meant to offer care, gentle warmth and it half succeeds. She's not Anne, though.

She tugs and Philip's head falls onto her shoulder where he unleashes the bulk of his tears, holding onto her and he's crying for all the forgotten birthdays that Anne would make up for when she came out of her stupors, when he'd come home to cupcakes from the bakery down the street and balloons and streamers all over their small one bedroom apartment in the city. He cries for every Mother's Day card that he worked so hard on every year, the ones that he knew his mother kept under the bed in a box next to an identical one that held her needles and stash.

He cries for the time she tried to teach him how to ride a bike but it started to rain and they had to go home and she never remembered to take him out again. He cries for the missed opportunities, the lost time, the forgone chances. He cries for his mother, who had nothing to do with any of this, who got caught in the middle, the line of fire, because of who her son was and his role in all of this and nothing else.

Philip cries and cries and cries and Helen holds onto him, holds onto him tight. And with his eyes closed and his mind gone numb, he can imagine that it's Anne.

-

Lukas is up and stable in the hospital bed, his heart monitor beating steadily beside him.

The door creaks open and his father walks in, expression stoic and drawn as he closes the door behind him and stands by the foot of Lukas' bed.

"Crazy couple days we've had here, huh Son?" Bo says gruffly looking at his son lying on the bed.

"Yeah. Insane." Lukas replies playing with his fingers in his lap. The sound of the beeping monitor picks up ever so slightly and Lukas swallows with a bit of difficulty as he faces his dad, "Dad, I should probably tell you something-,"

Bo raises a hand, shaking his head and stopping Lukas from continuing. He walks up towards the head of Lukas' bed, occupying the seat that's over there and sighing heavily, "I know, son. I know everything."

Lukas grimaces, looking down at his hands, "I never meant to- to lie to you, I just didn't know how you'd take it. I didn't want to disappoint you or have you hate me I just- I really like Philip, dad. I don't think I've ever liked anybody else this way."

Bo's shaking his head again, running a hand over his face gruffly and peering at his son. Reaching over he places his hand, rough with callouses, over Lukas' looking up at him and never breaking the contact their eyes make. Lukas feels his body flush with warmth, "listen to me, son. Nothing you do could ever make me disappointed in you, especially not this- not who you chose to love. It took me a bit, threw me off finding out the way I did, but I almost lost you twice in the span of a couple days, my boy, and I realized that I can't let what I don't know scare me away from loving you. I love you, son. You're the only family I got 'round here and I'm not throwing you away for nothing. Never forget that."

Lukas doesn't mean for the tears that surface to fall but they do anyway, his hand slipping from his dad's to wipe at them as he nods. "I love you, dad. And I'm sorry."

"We're all good, kid. It's me and you. Gotta stick together."

Lukas chuckles, his dad returning his watery smile with a pat of his hand on Lukas' and Lukas knows they're gonna be alright.

-

"So- my dad's okay. With us, I mean."

They'd been laying there for a bit, Lukas had convinced Philip that lying beside each other on the small bed wasn't going to reopen any of his stitches. Besides, they'd done more than just lay down with fewer repercussions. Philip's head was resting on his good shoulder, their hands held, fingers entangled on Lukas' abdomen as Philip watched them.

His face has been drawn and pale, ashen since he'd walked in, and Lukas knew it was because of Anne and he offered all the comfort he could to his grieving boyfriend.

"Told you the only one with a problem was you." Philip says quietly, only just barely loud enough to hear over the beeping of Lukas' heart monitor. Philip took solace in the sound of it, mechanical but reliable, that and the feel of Lukas' heart beating by his ear was magic to his frayed edges.

"I don't- I don't have a problem anymore. I'm okay with it, not scared." Lukas replies, running the fingers of his other hand through Philip's hair. "I've got you."

"We've got each other." Philip adds on and Lukas nods, turning his head to press a kiss against Philip's forehead.

"I'm sorry... about Anne."

Philip nods, head barely moving as he cuddles in closer to Lukas, curling his body into Lukas' for comfort as a phantom hand clutches at his heart and the tears threaten to fall again. "Thanks. Me too."

They fall quiet then, listening to each other's breathing, Lukas' heart monitor and it's easy, relative silence and peace in the face of the rollercoaster of a ride they'd just been on. Philip closes his eyes where he's rested and he's ready and willing to succumb to sleep when Lukas' voice brings him back.

"Philip?" Lukas says and he doesn't continue until after Philip hums in response, eyes still closed. "Does your stomach hurt?"

Philip's eyes open at that, slowly, and then he's tilting his head up, looking at Lukas at the odd angle he's laid at and there's probably stars shining in his eyes. When his gaze meets Lukas Lukas is just waiting expectantly, a trace of a smile left on his lips and Philip offers what he can back, tracing Lukas' features with his eyes. "Yeah, It does. How about yours?"

Lukas nods, hand at the back of Philip's head gently nudging it into the crook of his neck, Lukas' nose in Philip's hair as he keeps him close and tight and he feels like they're at home. Not like in a place or a structure, not an actual, physical home, but they're at home with each other, in each other, "yeah. Mine does too."

They wouldn't have it any other way. 

**Author's Note:**

> Lemme know your thoughts, comments, anything. 
> 
> What'd you think of that finale?
> 
> Im on Tumblr if you wanna talk over there too makesme-free.tumblr.com 
> 
> Thank you for reading!!


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